Friday, May 11, 2007

Gettin' My Grumpy Ol' Man on...

... or "Now excuse me while I whip this out."
"Man I been sayin'..." I can't tell you how many times i've said those words. Every time something happens that I knew would happen, i'm always compelled to tell my friends, "Man, I been sayin' that was gonna happen." What I want this blog to be is an online record of my various predictions and observations about the world. I do see it, I see stuff coming time and time again. It rarely surprises me when it happens, but the egotist in me always wants credit for saying, "I said it first!" So this blog will be my attempt at that, a daily (or semi-daily) account of my thoughts on the world and it's people, and where I see things going in music, fashion, pop culture, etc.

I remember seeing a young adult movie star named "Honey" in a film with Mr. Marcus and being so impressed with her "talents" that I exclaimed to my friends, "Someone who's got skills like that should be a superstar."

And even as the words left my lips I remember even thinking to myself, "Man, what a nutty thing to say. She's a porno chick for God's sake, how could she ever become famous." And now... well, let's just say she doesn't go by "Honey" anymore.

It took me awhile to even realize that she was the girl from the video. I think it was around the time she appeared on Oprah and the rumors started swirling that she'd done porn before. (I remember thinking, "Hell, 'Superhead'?!! Who the hell is Superhead!?? You want to see Superhead, put on Mr. Marcus' Neighborhood and go find 'Honey'. Now THAT'S what you call "Superhead"! Heh... irony. ) But when I heard the porn rumors that's when it finally clicked. I was like, there's no way there can be TWO of them.

*Sob sob* They grow up so fast.

But man I been sayin'....

I remember thinking, in the late 90's, that I couldn't understand how The South hadn't taken over Hip Hop yet. I distinctly recall standing at a gas station one day and hearing a beat that just grabbed me. It has a nasty bass line and the drums were just hard as hell. After hearing one of the rappers spit a few bars, I realized what he just said had been ingrained in my memory. Don't get me wrong, his words weren't what i'd call anything remotely resembling a high bar of lyrical content, but it's just that some Southern rappers have such an audacity to their words that you can't help but remember them. For example:

A bad bitch, she wanted me to stay a l'il longer,
I'da put the dick up on her but I had a flight to catch.

-Webbie, "Wipe Me Down" ( L'il Boosie ft. Webbie)

Upper Echelon of lyrical ability, no. But how can you NOT remember this line.

And again, don't get me wrong, I love lyrical hip hop. In fact, that's what prompted me to notice the song. At the time I was hungry for an East Coast artist whose music had that visceral thump to it; something you can ride to AND nod your head too. And I sorely miss really talented lyricists. Anyone who can bless the mike gets HUGE props from me. (Saigon, Cory Gunz, Jae Millz, L'il Wayne, Soulja Slim, Juvenile, Scarface, The Game, Eminem, and all the late great gods in the game go without sayin'--> Pun, Pac, L, Big, etc.) But I just couldn't understand why something so visceral, something that just aims directly for the most basic part of a person's being, wasn't massively popular. Flash forward to the present and... well... y'know.

I remember saying, WAAAAY when Gremlins came out, that they should make the Mogwai into kids' toys. I remember continuing to say it for years afterwards; I couldn't conceive how NO ONE had had this idea. The creatures were (and remain) incredibly well-designed possible toys. (Hell, I know always wanted to play with one.) And then one day, this comes out.

It was like TIGER Corp. said, "Whaaaa.... you don't want these millions of dollars lying on the ground, Warner Brothers. Well, we'll take them." (I later learned of course that there HAD in fact been toys, but I don't think they were nearly as aggressively marketed as Furbies were. (And I was young; I wanted one, but never saw them anywhere!) Warner even had a partnership with Tiger and produced a Mogwai based Furby.

That's like Coca-Cola doing a deal to sell Coke that tastes like Pepsi. Or McDonald's entering into a deal with Burger King to sell Big Macs that look like Whoppers. Which further verifies my opinion that Warner had (have) no idea the goldmine they were (are) sitting on with Gizmo.

Yes, i've gone from talking about Karrine "Superhead" Steffans and porn, to Hip Hop, Mogwai, Furbies and Coca-Cola. This, in essence, is what my blog will be. One part rambling, one part my observations on things, one part news, as well as a well-documented account of those times that, "I saw it first."

Now, if you'll pardon me, "Excuse me while I whip this out."

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