Well damn, N.C.H.S.*, huh? (*See Lexicon.) Look closer, read the face on this watch. (Particularly the red letters.) Tell me if it says the same thing to you that it does to me?
Here're a few signs i've noticed in my day-to-day life, and I just thought i'd share them with everybody.
GET SOME NUTS!!
What's funniest about this is, you know Mr. T. only hit him with a Snickers bar because that's the closest thing he had handy. If he had been holding a wrench, or something heavier, this would've been a completely different commercial. Afterwards, Mr. T was quoted as saying, "What, what Snickers commercial? What is this jibba jabba you're talking about!? I was just beating up some crazy fool!"
Hoodie hoo, whodie! Are you tired of gettin' no love from the ladies? Do you always live for bitches and blunts and not weed and money? Does the ghetto have you crazy, and you think your momma needs to pray for her baby? Well, get a whiff of the dirty souf', playa and you'll be fresher than a l'il bit, l'il daddy, ya heard me?
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Sai's a tricky fellow, though, and he's known for doing attention getting moves like this. Such as apparently self-releasing a track entitled "Saigon diss to g-unit", knowing that the title would get people's attention. Only to have him personally say on the track, "I know what ya'll thought y'all was gonna see. You thought I was gonna diss my niggas, huh, G-Unit?" He then proceeds to praise G-Unit, and perform an entirely different song. (Remember when The Game's album, Doctor's Advocate was supposedly leaked, only to find out it'd been leaked by the Game himself, and few if any of the songs being leaked were actually on the album. Have to admit, ingenious way to thwart bootleggers and drum up interest for your album.) So this could very well be yet another red herring by him, but then again, it could be authentic, as his album has been delayed for quite some time now. It looks genuine, though. Either way, this one should be interesting to see.
More delays are on the way for those of you who are anticipating Sai-Giddy's, aka
Saigon's debut LP, "The Greatest Story Never Told". (Man, if these delays keep up, this is going to be one tragically ironic title, eh?) Anyway, on Sai's myspace page he posted the following while also insinuating that if nothing gives soon, he may very well leak the album himself:
"pleassssse dont believe that the hold up of my album has ANYTHING to do with me or my work ethic or my rate of producing GREAT music...If you go to YOUTUBE and type in JBTV Saigon you will hear snippets of my album that Atlantic doesnt seem to have the desire to release...I just think the once great Atlantic Records has been belittled down to a home of ringtone making artists, like they sign the great jingle writers and real artist like Myself dont get a chance to showcase my musical abilities...I feel like Tupac now...Its me against the world... not to worry though, my fans WILL hear my entire album very soon whether they put it out or not.. If they donnt I will and let yall be the judge of if the music is GREAT or not....Im beginning to think that being my album is geared toward the betterment and not the destruction of my people the powers that be dont wanna release it... Greatest Story Never Told coming this Summer...regardless...."
Click here to read the full post.
(Oh, and another one for the MIBS Files-- Why the hell wasn't Sai put out as soon as he got put on Entourage. That publicity was priceless for him. For God's sake, who the fizzuck's in charge over there, Dopey the dwarf?!)
For those of you who are unfamiliar with Saigon, Sai-Giddy, Tha Yardfather, etc., in the words of Clinton Sparks, "Get Familiar!"
Abandoned Nation.
And now it's time for our first edition of "Give This Star a Porn Name", the hot new game where we take the name of a mainstream actor and give them a porn certified equivalent. From Janet Jackson was born "Janet Jacme". From Wesley Snipes of course we have Wesley Pipes. Now it's your turn. Give this actor a proper porn themed alter ego. (Winner to be announced.) For bonus points, pornify one of his movies. "Wesley Pipes" and "Woody Harrysack" in... "The Money Shot", that sort of thing.
VING RHAMES
Have fun!
Click here to continue reading post...
Have you ever wondered what porn stars do in their free time? I know I have. I'm endlessly fascinated by the lives porn stars live after the cameras have gone away. Like, say, what does Mr. Marcus do when he gets recognized on the street? What does Sean Michaels do when he's with his girlfriend out in public and other women notice him and start flirting. (Because she's seen or heard about his *big* reputation in the industry, and wants to see for herself if it's true.) For that matter, what does his girlfriend do? How do you even go home to a girlfriend if you're in porn, after you just got done knocking off 5 supergorgeous 6'0" tall fine porn chicks willing to do any freaky thing you could possibly imagine, and better than any regular girl could ever do it? Even if your girl was equally as talented, equally as fine, how do you even manage to get it up again after having had sex ten times already that day. How can you possibly even sustain any interest in it?
For that matter, how does a porn star's boyfriend/girlfriend react to their doing porn in the first place? How can you be Pinky's boyfriend if you're an average man and she just got done getting reamed out by Wesley Pipes, who's kneecapping it? Even the most secure man must be tempted every now and again to wonder if he's as good as her last porn partner. ("You never make all those sounds when you're with me."-- And yes, I know a lot of times they're just acting for the camera, but still...) How do Kobe Tai's parents react to their daughter being practically the most popular Asian woman in American porn. How did any of them even get into porn in the first place?!
There's virtually an endless assortment of questions you could ask.
Which is why i've yet to understand why no network has done a reality show yet based around the life of a porn star. Sure, they've gotten close, with E!'s "Girls Next Door", but that show doesn't go far enough. Plus, it's on E!, so everything we see is going to be tame and watered down anyway. Imagine a reality show on HBO, that shows the real warts in a porn star's life (err... no pun intended there) all the gritty stuff you always wonder about but never ask. HBO itself even comes close, with it's "Cathouse: The Series" but there are numerous glaringly obvious questions that the show never dares to answer. I want to see more about these girls' personal lives, away from the ranch. But then, I guess that'd be another show altogether, then, wouldn't it?
Or what about a show based on the lives of young, up and coming girls trying to break into the industry? Imagine: "America's Next Top Pornstar". Or "So You Think You Can Suck"? Err, maybe, "Extreme F**kover: Porn Valley Edition". Or something...
And as much as i'd like to be the guy who gets this show off the ground, where do I go with it? Who do I take it to? (That is to say, who'll ACTUALLY LISTEN and be able to do anything with it.) And I have no doubt that a few months (or years) from now, someone with way more money and connections in the industry that I have will eventually do this show; it'll be a ratings monster and he/she will doubtless make millions off of it,
But man I been sayin'...
